This pair of wings worn and rusted from too many years by my side...they can carry me, swear to be sturdy and strong but see, turning them on still means goodbye...

Hi guys :) I was inspired by this post on one of my new favorite blogs. Bookmark it...you'll need a few hours and some Kleenex once you read through it. But it's good stuff.

So I realized the other day that I hadn't posted here since June 1st. That's a long time, even for me. I've gone back and forth trying to decide what and how much to share with you. Let's start and just see what happens. I'm scared to be transparent, but feel like sharing might help someone else. Off I go.

Four sets of hands and one set of paws moved into this house 7 years ago. Three sets of hands moved out in March. Our first house, the house I built with my best friend. We fought day and night over paint colors and carpet samples. Now it's someone else's home.

 Father's Day came, and I ran across this picture of Josh holding Cole when he was born. It made me remember just how much I miss this man. I tried to fast forward the grieving process. It didn't work.

These guys are growing up too fast. I find strength in their love every day. Inside me is the unrelenting urge to make the most of the years they are here with me.

 I've dealt with clinical depression for over 14 years. It's an opponent I have battled and beaten before. You'd think it would get easier every time. But you'd be wrong.

 I worked out, I sure did. But I've found cleaning and decluttering my apartment much more therapeutic. I've lost count, but I'm sure we are upwards of 10 bags donated and 10 bags trashed by now. And lots more to go.

 I enjoy apartment living. There's always someone around to hang out, chat with at the pool, or watch fireworks with from the balcony. No yard to mow, and no backyard to clean up. It's nice not worrying about fixing the garbage disposal or a drippy faucet.

I've been painting my nails. And painting. And painting. Got a nail stamping kit...combining my love of beauty and crafting. Totally fun.

 And then I painted some more...it makes me feel pretty. Everything's better with bling.

I'm learning to GET OUTSIDE. Soak up the Vitamin D. Reach out to people around me, and ask for help. It is easier to move an object that is already in motion.

I'm still decluttering my life, my relationships, my heart, and my apartment. One bit at a time, and celebrating each victory. I have not crafted in over a month, and I miss it. At this point I have so much STUFF that I'm totally overwhelmed. So I'm paring down in a major way to make room for only the things I LOVE to create with. I'm looking forward to a new, fresh start, and I hope you'll hang around for it. And Lord knows I'm a sucker for a DARE. *wink*