Sunday, September 13, 2009

Nobody's hurtin', no one's afraid...no hungry children, Loved ones don't die...no sad farewells, there'll be no more goodbyes...

Hey guys, sorry I've been MIA, I wanted to drop in and tell you why. I won't be posting much, if at all this week because we're out of town.

First a bit of happy news...I am the Featured Stamper on Splitcoast this week! What a wonderful surprise this was!! I can't wait to have some time to go see and comment on all the fabulous creations. Thanks so much, Beth, for this honor!!

Now, on to what has been going on in my world.

Some of you who are new to my blog may not know the story of Julianna. If you don't, you can read it HERE. Eleven years ago this past July, I gave a baby girl up for adoption. We have an open adoption, which is wonderful. I have loved their family as my own from the very start, and they think of me as part of their family as well. A special part.

Julianna's mom, Becky, has been battling colon cancer for about 3 years. On Wednesday of last week, I found out that she was at home on hospice care. We are very, very close...she's like a second mom to me. We were told she had a couple of weeks left. So Josh & I made plans to bring the boys down and say goodbye and be with the family. We were to go on Tuesday (9/15). But on Friday afternoon, I got a call from Julianna's dad, Bobby. Becky passed away at 1:45 on Friday afternoon, surrounded by her family.

My heart was broken. I had so much that I wanted to tell her...how she changed my life, and helped me become the person I am today, with love, compassion, and understanding. She was the most loving and peaceful person I had ever met. My heart and life has been forever changed by knowing her. I know she is without pain and in peace at the feet of her Lord, where she has longed to be. But I will selfishly say that she left a hole here in this world that no one can fill.

I'm so sorry...I always try to keep this a happy and fun blog to read, so when I return, I'll do that. But I wanted to share with you what was happening so you didn't think I had run away and joined the circus. Tomorrow is her funeral, and although it's supposed to be a celebration, it will be a very hard day for this family. We would all appreciate your thoughts and prayers.


Worth it all by Rita Springer
I don't understand Your ways
Oh but I will give You my song
Give You all of my praise
You hold on to all my pain
With it You are pulling me closer
And pulling me into Your ways

Now around every corner
And up every mountain
I'm not looking for crowns
Or the water from fountains
I'm desperate in seeking, frantic believing
That the sight of Your face
Is all that I need
I will say to You

It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it
It's gonna be worth it all
I believe this

You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it
You're gonna be worth it all
I believe this

41 comments:

the whimsical butterfly said...

Oh, Shannan, I don't even know what to say, but I know that you being there probably means to world to that family and is what Julianna needs, too. I just read your post about her-what a beautiful gift you have given that family and that they have given you in return. You are in my prayers this week and I'll be thinking of you and the whole family! HUGS!

Jo R. said...

My sympathies to you and your entire family Shannan. I pray you find strength and peace to come through this sad time.

Angela (jellybean74) said...

Thinking of you and your family at this time. I believe that Becky knows the impact she has had on your life. We all have people who come into our lives and change us forever. May Becky rest in peace and be in your heart forever.

Carol (HB) said...

I am so sorry Shannan. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Becky's family.

Julie said...

Oh, Shannan...so sorry to hear this sad news. My thoughts are with you!

Sandy said...

Shannon, I have been reading your blog off and on for 2 years...I am sad for you at the loss you are suffering. I am glad that you will be able to be there for that family and am sure that they will be there for you as well.
We are all challenged by life's choices, how wonderful for you and Julianna that she exists and you know each other...I admire you for what you did.

shellyrmn said...

Please know that your family are in my thoughts and prayers. Thank you for sharing so much of yourself here...creatively and personally.

Tricia said...

Oh, Shannon. I'm so sorry. I've been praying for you since I read this post earlier this morning. One of the things I thought of was how incredibly God has orchestrated your life to allow you to learn from Becky as a teen and young adult. You'll be able to pass those same things on to Julianna, by your love and peace and kindness and example as she enters those years soon. She will have a beautiful blend of both of her mothers love in you. Hugs!

Lori Craig said...

praying for you, sweetie...

Callie said...

Oh I can't imagine your loss and pain. It's awful to not have the chance to say the things that you wanted to say. But you have to know that she already knew all those things. I'll pray for you and your family. Take your time, we'll all be here waiting for your spunky music loving cards and creations when you return! :-)

Kate Carney said...

My sympathies for you at this difficult time. Know that you have many friends both in the blog world and the "real" one.

Randee E said...

How heartwarming it was to read your adoption story! The confirmation you felt in your heart about the decision you made and the family you chose is a glimpse into the kind of person Becky was. My heart goes out to you, Julianna and the rest of your families.

melissac said...

Shannan I am so sorry for your incredible loss!! I will be praying for you and the whole family!!! Blessings and Hugs!!

okcapitolgirl said...

Shannan - How wonderfully appropriate that you were chosen as the Featured Stamper! You had an opportunity to inspire people in the stamping world with your creations just as Becky has inspired you in the real world. Your story and connection to this family are incredible - and that inspires me! Hugs to you and yours. You are in my prayers!

Pinky said...

Hi Hon
I am so sorry for your loss. When you loose someone you love you gain an angel in heaven that you know. I truly believe that angels listen. You still, and always will, have time to say the words you wanted to say....it is never to late. I also believe that angels know what is already in your heart.
I will pray for peace and strength for you and your family during this most difficult time.
Cyber hugs Sistah,
Pinky

Christi said...

Oh Shannan...my heart just aches for you and your family today. I will be praying hard for all of you. I am here if you need anything-I am only a phone call away. Big {{HUGS}} my friend.

KanataNewf said...

My heartfelt sympathies - even though you did not get the chance to say the words you wanted to say, I am sure that your beloved second mom knew in her heart how you felt.

Amy said...

oh so sorry to hear about the loss of this very special woman. My thoughts and prayers are with you! Hugs!

Amy

Danni said...

I'm so sorry. Lots of hugs and prayers for you and your family.

carole (TruCarMa) said...

(((((Steuby))))) I'm so, so sorry for your loss. Thinking of you, my friend.

Tina said...

I am sorry for your loss Shannan. I'll be praying that JESUS holds your heart together. May God bless you and yours as you mend.

Kim said...

Oh Shannan, sweetie, you are all in my prayers. I'm disappointed in myself that it takes a post like this for me to comment, as I read your blog faithfully every day. Be thankful for the time you had and what a blessing for both you and Julianna to be touched by such a special person and still have each other too. I'm adopted but my story is very different :) Love to ya, Kim

Kathie Bailey said...

Shannan, I'm so sorry for your loss. It is so difficult to let go of those we love, especially one who has made such a profound difference in our life.

I'm sending you hugs and prayers that you will find comfort at this saddest of times.

Silke Ledlow said...

Oh Shannan - I'm so sorry to hear that you lost a very special person in your life!!! My thoughts and prayers are with her family and your family as well!!!

Take care and travel safe!!! Hugs ~S~

Jennifer said...

Oh Shannon. You do indeed have my heartfelt sympathy. As other's have said, I too have a feeling she knew all that was in your heart and you didn't actually hae to say the words. You are certainly in my thoughts and prayers.

Basement Stamper said...

Shannan: you brought tears to my eyes with your original story and the passing of this special person. Even though you didn't get a chance to tell her all you were feeling, I have a good feeling she knew it, by the closeness you two had, she knew she was important in your life. So sorry to hear of your loss :-( Big hugs!

Buttons Ribbons and Pearls said...

People are in and out of our life, but some leave an imprint on our heart. I'm sorry for you and your family Shannan. Remember it's not selfish when it's source is love. Take Care.{ Tracy }

Lori A. said...

I am so very sorry for your loss. I will be praying for your families!

Heather P. said...

Oh Shannan! :( I'm so sorry for your loss, and will be keeping your families in prayer! Hugs to you, sweetie!

Steph K (booga3) said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss, Shannan. Hugs and prayers for all of you.

colleen said...

Shannan, I am so terribly sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how difficult it is for you. Know that she knows all of those things that you didn't get a chance to tell her... she knows them in her heart.

I'm praying for you and your family in this time of sorrow.

Elena said...

I'm so sorry about your loss, Shannah...
I think that Becky knew what you felt and how special she was to you...
I will be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers...

Steph said...

I'm truly sorry for your loss. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

dini said...

Sharing your tears over here - hugs and prayers going out for you..... ♥
Dina

Betty Wright said...

So sorry, Shannan!!! Keeping you and your family in my prayers during this time!!! {{{HUGS}}}

Bethany Paull said...

Fortunately, there are some things people know without us having to say them. I'm so sorry for your loss Shannan.

Julie Masse said...

Hugs and prayers going out to you Shannan and the family! Praise God for His peace that passes all understanding!

Michele Boyer said...

I'm so sorry, Shannan. Please know I'm thinking of you. You and your family are in my prayers. Big hugs to you!

Jen Tapler said...

I know I told you earlier in the week, but I wanted to come back and tell you again that I'm thinking of you!! {{hugs}}

Claire Brennan said...

Oh Shannan.
Huge big hugs at this awful time for you all.

Susie said...

Shannan... I've seen you over at SCS but this is my first visit to your blog. After reading your first post and then the story of Julianna's birth... I just had to say how sorry I am that this wonderful woman lost her battle with cancer. But what a blessing to have had her in your life.

I admire your strength and courage. I will keep you and Julianna's family in my prayers.

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